Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

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Be Your Own Valentine!

February 11th, 2010 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in Confidence, dating

Whether you have a significant other or not this year, you need to remember your best and most trusted Valentine of all: yourself!

You are strong, smart, and are always there for yourself. The hands, brain, soul, and body you have can accomplish great things in your lifetime.

Do yourself a favor this V-day and buy yourself something special, treat yourself to a spa day, watch your favorite movie, or vow to start achieving other health or personal goals. Also take a few minutes to write down all of your accomplishments and the reasons you love yourself!

Much Love,
Brandi Hamrick
“The Queen B Coach”
www.thequeenbcoach.com

Are Your Friends Making You Sick? Combat Toxic Relationships!

November 7th, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in Lifestyle, Stress, dating

I want you to think about your funniest and most uplifting friend. You know, the friend that is guaranteed to make you laugh so hard your tummy hurts and is always sure to make you feel great about yourself? Doesn’t it feel great to be in the presence of someone who is so uplifting? Now think about an acquaintance who is negative, draining, and depressing. Doesn’t it feel better to be in the presence of someone who is positive? The effects of the people around us can actually last much longer than just the time we spend with them. Continuously being around stable, happy people can help our lives and success tremendously, while being around downers can have the opposite effect.

It can be hard to deal with toxic people, but it is in your own best interest to deal with the relationship accordingly.

How to tell if a relationship is toxic:

Be conscious.
Start asking yourself how you feel after being in the presence of that person. Do you feel better, worse, or the same as before?

Take note.
Listen to the words they say and how they say them. Are they usually complaining, nagging, or gossipping? As Eleanor Roosevelt said, small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, and great minds discuss ideas.

Do they bring you down?
Ask yourself if the person lifts you up or brings you down. For example, if you are trying to eat healthy, exercise more, and/or stop smoking, a good friend should be supportive and help you succeed. A toxic friend may try to talk you into eating more, skipping workouts, and smoking just to bring you down.

What to do when you have diagnosed the relationship as toxic:

Evaluate the relationship.
We all have to deal with people we don’t like sometimes. Co-workers are good examples because the relationship is often out of our control. If you have to interact with a toxic person, keep them at arm’s length. Let the relationship be only professional, don’t be rude, but only interact when needed.

Distance yourself.
If you determine a good friend is toxic (this happens a lot when we go through personal development), but you don’t want to cut them off completely, simply distance yourself from them. Only go out in a group of people so the toxic friend won’t have your complete attention. You can also call them only during your lunch break when you have to hang up within a few minutes. This gives you a great excuse to get off, plus you will get right back to work, so whatever they say isn’t likely to stay on your mind for very long. This is a much better solution than talking in the evening before you go to bed.

Set boundaries.
It is your responsibility to look after yourself. If you don’t, know one else will. Part of this responsibility means not letting others take advantage. When you are in the presence of someone toxic, simply state your boundaries. One example might be, “Sara, I know that this situation upsets you because you bring it up a lot, and while I want to be a good friend, I don’t know how else to help you. If you need to talk about this again you should see a therapist, I know of a great one who helped my other friend.” OR “Ben, it’s great that you can eat anything you like and stay thin, but I am not the same way. I am trying really hard to eat right, not only for my weight, but my health in general. I respect your decision to eat how you choose, and would never push health foods on you, so I expect you to do the same. If you continue to try and get me to come off my diet, I simply will not be able to have lunch with you anymore.”

Soul Search
Ask yourself why it is important to have this person in your life. Are they a good friend in other ways? If not, why is it important to keep them around? Often times we stay closely connected to people who seriously weigh us down just because we have an idea in our heads of how certain relationships should be (a childhood friend, a mother and daughter, etc.). Realistically, though, an ideal relationship with that person just may not be possible.

When all else fails…
Sometimes no matter what we do or how respectfully we try and set boundaries, it is just hopeless. Some people simply aren’t in a place to treat other people well. When this happens, you may need to make the tough decision to cut them out of your life. “You are either the wind in my sail or the weight of my anchor…and I cut anchor!”

Oh, and from now on make sure every friend you let into your life lifts you up, up, up, okay?!


Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com

Being Your Authentic Self to Get Ahead in Life and Business

November 7th, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in Career, Goals and Obstacles, dating

You don’t need to own a business or have a career in sales to benefit from learning how to authentically market yourself. If you think about it, we all market ourselves everytime we meet someone new, go on a date, or have an interview for a job. We are marketing ourselves so that we can develop a mutually beneficial relationship with the other person.

However, it can be nerve-wracking when we need to market ourselves well, especially when we really want a job, a friend, or a new love interest.

Marketing yourself authentically can help calm your nerves. Here are some tips to do so:

* Marketing yourself authentically is easy because it simply means being yourself. You aren’t having to think of ways to make yourself sound more interesting. You are being you.

*Write down several interesting things you’ve done or accomplishments you’ve had. This will give you a boost of self-confidence. No more thinking you aren’t good enough.

* When you are your authentic self, you never have to worry that you won’t live up to expectations. If you are yourself on dates and job interviews, you land the job or person because they like you for you.

* When it doesn’t work out, it’s for the best. When you are your authentic self and the situation you were hoping for doesn’t work out, it’s always for the best. You don’t want to work somewhere or be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like you for you. Not every relationship is a good fit. If one opportunity doesn’t work out for you, keep looking for one that will. You will be happier in the long run.

*To know your authentic self, get to know who you are. Know your likes, dislikes, and get your confidence to a healthy place.

Your assignment:
Practice being your authentic self whenever you come into contact with someone. Be you and speak honestly.

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com

The Secret to Attracting Your Perfect Mate

October 10th, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in dating

BE YOURSELF!

We need to be ourselves when dating for many reasons, but here are the top 5:
1. You can’t “act” like someone else forever. Sooner or later the real you is going to come out, so wouldn’t you like to figure out if the real you is compatible with who you are dating sooner rather than later?

2. You don’t need to attract every guy; you just need to attract one guy that is perfect for you. A lot of women have this need to try and land every guy that crosses her path. Some will even go to great lengths to change her look, personality, religion, and morals depending on the guy she is with. Figure out who you are by building a strong foundation and having self-confidence. Then you can try to find your guy, not every guy.

3. You will lose your identity. If you change yourself according to who you are with you will lose your identity and you won’t know who you are or what you stand for.

4. If a guy likes you, and I mean really likes you, you don’t have to “do” anything. There are tons of factors that are out of our control that all go into determining our attraction to each other. When a guy likes a woman he won’t let anything get in the way of being with her. He doesn’t care what other people think and he will literally move mountains if he really loves her. He also cherishes her above anyone else so he won’t do anything to intentionally hurt her. If a guy doesn’t act this way for you there isn’t anything you can do to make him like you. You simply have to find someone else who is perfect for you and who likes you for who you are. This is liberating because you can quit trying to act the way you think someone wants you to act, and focus that energy into finding someone who likes you just the way you are!

5. It’s easier. Being you is easier than having to act any differently. I write articles and give dating advice based on what I learn from my clients and experiences with people through coaching. What I have learned is that normally when something turns a guy off, it’s not the act that repels him, it’s the fact the girl wasn’t herself. For instance, women (and men) tell me that when a woman is nervous and on a date she talks too much. When I ask the woman she explains that she wasn’t being herself and she doesn’t normally talk too much, but she wanted the man to find her interesting. Likewise, I advise waiting until you are comfortable in a relationship before having sex. Women typically tell me they rush into sex because they think it’s what the man wants and then are surprised when they get dumped. Develop your own standards for yourself and stick to them. Don’t act like you think you should act, act like you act. It will be easier and more productive in the long run to be yourself!

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach

www.brandihamrick.com

7 Common Characteristics of People Who Are Lucky in Love!

July 21st, 2009 by Administrator | 1 Comment | Filed in dating

I can’t help but notice those who ultimately have success in love (and usually life) share similar characteristics. Keep in mind that by success I don’t mean that they have necessarily had it easy. Success is getting up just one more time than you fall down, so in love you have to keep getting back on the horse if you fall off. The bad news is we don’t all naturally have these characteristics, but the good news is we can develop better habits. Developing the right mindset and attitude will make your search for your soul mate much more enjoyable!

Here are some characteristics shared by those who are lucky in love:

1. They assume responsibility for their love life.
Those who succeed in love realize they are in control of all aspects of their life, love life included. They don’t waste time and energy blaming someone else for their misery or playing the victim role. They admit they made poor choices in dating and don’t blame parents, past mates, and life in general for those mistakes. Then they learn from those mistakes and move on.

This can be frightening for s ome people, but it is actually quite empowering. No more excuses, you are the boss of your life and you have the ability to create the reality you want!

What is the main cause for where your love life is at? What could you have done differently? Were there people you should have passed on or people you should have gone out with that you didn’t? Were there relationships you should have gotten out of sooner?

2.They are optimistic.
They realize they may have to kiss a few frogs to get their prince, but at the end of the day they know their perfect mate will come. They also find a way to enjoy the journey while they wait.

3. They have self-confidence.
People who succeed in love have loads of self-esteem that prevents them from entering bad dating patters. They know they deserve someone who is perfect for them and don’t settle for less. If your confidence is lacking, a bad relationship will only make it worse and send you into a downward spiral. When a relationship doesn’t work out you need to take responsibility for your part, recognize the other person’s faults, learn, and move on. You shouldn’t go into self-defeating mode and start dating losers. If your confidence is at a good level you will be able to look at the situation logically and have a foundation to fall back on.

4. They Don’t Complain
Your thoughts and words have very powerful energy and can make or break your success. Don’t complain about exes or your dating life. Watch every thought and word for a month and see if you don’t start getting better results. Read my blog on this specific subject for more info.

5. They take action.
Successful people know to achieve what they want they need to do more than just talk. They put themselves out there and learn more. If they aren’t where they want to be yet they know it’s simply because there is something they haven’t done or tried yet. Then, they starting learning and doing. If you want to be in a different situation then you have to make some changes to your life. I get complaints from women all the time that they aren’t meeting the men they want. Then after questioning them I find out they haven’t tried any new strategies in years. If you want different fruits, you have to change the roots, so shake it up and think outside the box. Click here to read some great ways to meet men.

6. They don’t let their egos get in the way.
People who are successful in love don’t let their egos get in the way of having a great love life. If you are constantly afraid of rejection or embarrassed to get help you are likely to stay in the same place for a long time. Don’t be afraid to read dating advice articles and books, hire a matchmaker, or get help from a dating coach. Also don’t be embarrassed to tell people you meet that you want to settle down; one of the best ways to meet a great person is through mutual acquaintances. There is no shame in seeking help; there is only shame in staying stuck and not doing what it takes to get out of a rut!

7. They know when to walk.
Those who are most successful in love will often jump before the ship sinks. To some this may seem like giving up too soon, but it’s important to know when enough is enough. In dating there is obviously an amount of compromise and work involved to keep the relationship in a good place, but knowing when to bail is crucial. Don’t let past plans and dreams for the future cloud your judgment about a healthy relationship. The relationship needs to be working for you in the present and moving forward and if it’s not it could simply be time to move on. You can have new dreams and future plans with someone else who is on the same track as you. We all know that when one door closes at least one more opens, but if you are starting at the shut door you may not even see the open door across the hall. If you keep a relationship past its expiration date you could be missing out on the opportunity to get someone even more perfect for you!

To your success in life and love!

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com

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5 Reasons You Aren’t In Love

July 21st, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in Lifestyle, dating

If you are having trouble in your love life, join the club. There are tons out there in your exact same shoes. Not to worry! If you want to fall in love, but haven’t, there is simply something you are not doing or something you are doing incorrectly. Figure out where you are going wrong and fix it!

1. You are a complainer
Don’t complain about your love life, improve it. Use all that energy you are putting towards complaining to strategize and take action. We attract what we are, so if you do nothing but complain and get depressed about your love life, you will attract someone who is doing the exact same thing. Unless you want to be able to wallow in your sorrows with your mate (and I bet you don’t), stop complaining. If you aren’t where you want to be there is something you haven’t tried yet or haven’t learned. Be confident in the fact you will find your soul mate, and get into action!

2. You don’t have self-confidence
Self-confidence issues account for many of our problems in life and love is no different. If you are lacking in self-confidence not only are you likely to attract someone else who doesn’t have good self-esteem, but you may stay in relationships too long or for the wrong reasons. If you stay in a relationship past its expiration date, you won’t be available if someone better does come along and it can even worsen your self-confidence to stay with the wrong person. Having someone in your life doesn’t replace self-esteem; it only masks your confidence when the relationship is good. You need to build a good foundation of self-confidence so that you can make it through all the ups and downs and twists and turns of love. Read my tips on how to boost your self-confidence.

3. You are stuck in a dating rut.
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. If you want change in your life you have to be willing to shake things up a bit. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things! There are tons of ways to meet new people, and I list many of my favorites in my new E-book. There are also some great ways listed on some of my other blog posts: Marketing Yourself, Meeting People

4. It’s always someone else’s fault.
The first step in getting the love life you want is taking control of it. This means accepting total responsibility for your life. Sure, you can’t help how someone treats you, but you can control whether you continuing seeing them. You have ultimately set the framework for your love life by dating certain people you shouldn’t have, staying with some people too long and passing on some who may have been a catch. Don’t blame past loves, parents, or anyone else for where you are. If you have truly experienced trauma that you can’t move past, see a therapist so that you can move on and have a fresh start. You owe it to yourself and your future spouse. If not, stop playing the victim and take responsibility.

5. You don’t want to be in love.
We have it drilled into our heads that we should have a significant other. Our parents go from trying to keep us locked inside the house to pushing us out of the nest and wanting grandkids in a few short years. Most people assume that everyone wants to be in a relationship, so it’s easy to detect sorrow and pity from family and friends if you aren’t. This can condition some to think they want to find someone when they really don’t. I believe this is the reason why some people are too picky. If you truly want to be in a relationship you tend to see the good in everyone. If every person you go out with gets on your nerves for some reason, but for every practical reason they are a “catch” this could be you. If it annoys you to have to take time away from other areas of your life to date then you may quite simply not want to have a relationship. Readdress what you really want and realize it’s okay if you don’t want a soul mate right now. It’s perfectly fine to be completely content in your life without a spouse. You can date casually and have friends. Just be sure you are dating because you want to find someone and not because you feel pressured from society or other people. Dating should be fun!

If the above describes you in any way, I suggest reading my article on the 7 Characteristics of People Who Are Lucky in Love to learn more about changing bad patterns.

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
http://www.brandihamrick.com/

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Fact, or Fiction? One Good Way to Stop Sweating the Small Stuff!

July 21st, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in Career, Lifestyle, dating

We all know we should worry less. It is so easy to start worrying about the outcome of situations in the future, but more times than not everything turns out fine. In fact, it is estimated that 90% of things we worry about NEVER even happen! That’s a lot of wasted time and energy that we could be putting towards our families, jobs, happiness, or just having fun and relaxing!

It is no secret that stress is one of the leading causes of health problems, so why do we do it to ourselves? Have you ever noticed that worrying is contagious? You start worrying about something at work then you start worrying about a friend and then before you know it you are worrying about everything and in a really depressing mood.

Quitting worrying altogether is easier said than done, so I like to ask myself a simple question. Is this something that is true? Worrying about things that “might” happen or “could” happen is a huge waste of time, so if it hasn’t ACTUALLY happened yet then quit worrying for now and you can stress over it later IF and WHEN it does come true (and chances are that will be never).

My mother worded this trick brilliantly the other day when my brother was worrying over a test that he hadn’t gotten the grade back for yet. She said, “FACT, or FICTION? Have you acutally gotten a poor grade on that test?” My brother said no and she told him to quit worrying about it until it is a FACT that the grade is poor because chances are he did better than he thinks. If it is FACT that he receives a bad grade, then he can put that energy towards deciding what he needs to do to pull his grades up.

Next time you catch yourself worrying then simply ask yourself, “Fact, or Fiction?” If it’s fiction then chances are there isn’t anything you could do to alter the outcome now anyway, so don’t stress. If it is Fact then spend a designated amount of time (maybe 10 minutes) of writing down solutions to your problem. Coming up with solutions will make you feel in control and give you a productive way to channel your energy. Then, have confidence in yourself and your ability to handle to situation, and forget about it!

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
http://www.brandihamrick.com/

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My Boyfriend Left Me for Someone He Met on Match.com and Now He Wants Me Back! What Should I Do?

July 21st, 2009 by Administrator | 1 Comment | Filed in Ask Brandi, dating

Dear Brandi,
I have been in a three year relationship that ended abuptly for me. Not for him, he decided to move on back in March by getting on Match dot com. He met someone else and only then disclosed that he was not coming back to our relationship. His new (and yes, sexual relationship) has move too quickly for his taste. He now finds himself overwhelmed by her. He says he is still in love with me; if I wasn’t is the picture he says he would stay in the new relationship to see where it would go. He has finally decided to be honest with me. He has professed his love for me, while spending the 4th of July weekend with her and her friends. She is 59, I am 51, he is 62.
He came back from that trip with a whole new outlook on our relationship. He has spent the last two nights with me. Our sexual relationship has always been hot. It is even more passionate then ever. His plan is to form an exit strategy with the new girlfriend. . . or so he says. What do you suggest? I am totally in love with him and I have decided to never bring any of the bad times into our new found love for one another. Am I being a fool? L,
Thanks for your ASK BRANDI question.
It seems to me that he is in a confused place or either playing games. Either way you need to let him figure out what he wants before you get yourself involved. You love yourself too much to be in this situation. If he did make a mistake in leaving then he needs to dump the other woman and come back to you. And by dump, I don’t mean “form an exit” strategy. You and I both know that is taking the pansy way out of this situation. He needs to tell her that he doesn’t want to have any other communication with her and that he is getting back together with you. No sugar coating, no games, just honesty. If he isn’t willing to do that for you then you do not want him. A guy will climb mountains for a woman when he truly loves her, if he can’t even call if off with her and FAST you don’t need him. Find someone who deserves you. Quit having excess communication with him and cut off ALL sexual relations until he dumps her. You don’t want to be involved with him if he’s still “involved” with her, and I can assure you he is still dipping his toe into that pool if he hasn’t dumped her yet. So no more of this exit strategy BS! Lay it on the table and tell him what HE needs to do to be with you. You are both GROWN UPS. This sounds like the exact same letters I get from teenagers everyday, so stop the games.

If he dumps her totally (and I mean TOTALLY, no Emails, no phone calls, NADA), and you go back with him, then it’s great you don’t bring the past up. The only way you can totally be in a good new relationship with him is by completely forgiving his mistakes. My suggestion though is to tell him upfront that this is his last chance with you. If he does it again and you go back with him he will think he can get away with anything and will have no reason not to stray.

Best of Luck!
Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com

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Marketing Yourself: 5 Steps to Attracting Someone you Want to be With!

June 9th, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in dating

Stuck in a dating rut? Tired of attracting the wrong kind of people? Change your approach to finding the right person.

If a business isn’t attracting enough customers, they don’t just complain without taking action. A successful business will change their marketing strategies and do what it takes to get clients. They explore new options and find ways to attract new people. If a business doesn’t do this, their doors most likely won’t be open for long.

Very much like a business, you have to market yourself to have a successful dating life. Otherwise you will either not date at all or settle for someone you aren’t compatible with. If you are in a dating rut you need to shake things up a bit. Create new strategies and think outside the box. The steps below will help you create a successful dating strategy.

1. Define your market.

Just like a successful business, you need to know who you are trying to attract. Businesses know the age range, gender, and characteristics of their customers. Write down the qualities and characteristics you want in a mate.

2. Get inside the heads of your market.

Where would the type of person you want go? What would they possibly do for recreation or hobby? What might they do for a living? Who are their friends? Where might they hang out after work or on the weekends? Think outside the box and try to figure out as much as you can about the type of person you want to attract.

3.Put your plan into action.

One of the most common questions I receive through ASK BRANDI is “I can’t seem to find a guy who wants a relationship at a bar, what should I do?” I reply that for starters quit going to bars. If you aren’t having luck finding the type of person you want you must change the places you go.

A successful business knows their market and they know where their customers are and what they do. For instance, you probably wouldn’t see a Jimmy Choo ad in a magazine about the outdoors. You may however see ads for brands such as North Face and Kavu in an outdoor magazine. Keep this business strategy in mind when you are dating. If you are searching for a guy that goes to church you may not want to frequent strip clubs and bars. It’s not that decent church going men never go to strip clubs and bars; it’s just that they go in fewer numbers and less often so the chance of you finding one at a bar isn’t as great.

Start trying to go to the places you listed in the step above and quit going to places that your Mr. or Ms. Right doesn’t go to. For instance, if you are attracted to people in the healthcare industry start having lunch and grabbing coffee around local hospitals and medical complexes. Think outside the box to figure out where your ideal mate might be and go there.

4. Ask: Is your target market buying what you are selling?

A business that only wants to sell to affluent clients has to make sure their products, services, and design of their business reflect that. Ask yourself what type and quality of person your dream mate would want. Would they want someone who is healthy, has a career, or is educated? What type of person would your dream mate be attracted to? We typically are attracted to people who are a reflection of ourselves and balance us out, which brings us to the last step:

5. Ask: Are you the type of person that you want to be?
Have you ever been into a store where you could tell the owners loved and had passion for what they did? It probably made you excited and you were more likely to go back. When someone has passion and energy for what they are others are automatically attracted to them. Just like a successful business, you want to be happy with what and who you are.

When a person wants someone that is “out of their league” it is usually because they themselves want to be at that level. Have you ever known someone who is a fast food junkie, possibly smokes, and maybe is a good bit overweight but they seem to only want to date the star athlete? The most likely reason for this is that they too want to be fit and healthy on the inside. Become the person you want to be and it will be much easier to attract someone you are compatible with.

If you are in a dating rut try new approaches to meeting people. Consider going to a matchmaker, dating coach, or trying an online dating service. There is no shame in trying new things and failing, there is only shame in knowing that what you are doing isn’t working for you and continuing it anyway.

Best of luck in life and love!
Brandi Hamrick,
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com

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Excuses People Use to Cheat and Why They Just Aren’t Valid!

June 4th, 2009 by Administrator | No Comments | Filed in dating

Excuses people use to cheat:

1. The person I am with now doesn’t show me enough attention.

If your current flame isn’t showing you the amount of attention you would like in a relationship then it is time to re-address the relationship, not cheat. Ask yourself why your partner isn’t showing you attention. Is it because they are busy with work or the kids? Could it be that they are showing you adequate attention but that you have a lack of self-esteem? Communicating your feelings is the best scenario. If it seems that you can’t communicate without fighting consider seeing a couples’ counselor to mediate for you. At the end of the day if you decide you do need more attention than you are able to get from this person then it may be time to end the relationship and move on, but it is not the time to cheat.

2. They cheated first…Two wrong don’t make a right. Typically people who cheat because their partner did first are just doing it because they want revenge, not because they want to cheat. If you are able to get past your partner cheating on you then you have to forgive whole-heartedly and still show them the amount of respect you demand out of a relationship. Starting a vicious cycle of cheating on each other isn’t they way to get past infidelity. Even though you are hurt you should treat your spouse the way you want to be treated, not by how they have treated you. If you decide you can’t get over their mistake it may be time to end the relationship, not cheat.


3. We had an agreement we could cheat

Cheating agreements rarely are ever good for anyone. They may seem like a good idea at first because you both get the benefits of having a relationship and having fun on the side, but this can only lead to turmoil. If either party is at the point where they want to explore, it’s time to be single again. Cheating in any form shows a lack of self-respect and integrity. Not only will this cause even more strain on the relationship, it can be detrimental to children if you have any.


4. My current partner won’t or can’t have sex with me.

There are so many more levels to a mature healthy relationship than just sex. Explore the reason your partner isn’t having sex. If it’s because they physically can’t, you need to concentrate on the other dimensions of your relationship. If you decide sex isn’t something you are willing to live without, explore other things you can do together or consider leaving the relationship. Cheating will only cause more separation and distance with your partner.

5. It’s me, not them.

Some people with a lack of self-confidence cheat because they need constant acceptance from other people. Their own self-worth is completely determined by how liked they are by others around them. If you suspect this may be your motive for cheating, do the right thing and seek therapy rather than cheat. The initial self-esteem boost you get from cheating will soon wear off. After you cheat the pain it will cause in your relationship can only tear down your self-confidence. Remember to treat other people the way you want to be treated.

If you are considering cheating on your current partner, think about it before you make your decision. Why is it that you want to cheat? If your partner isn’t able to fulfill your expectations of a relationship it may be time to find someone better suited for you. This is usually better in the long run as few relationships end up surviving infidelity. Keep in mind that once you cheat you can never go back. It can affect not only this relationship, but your future relationships. Down the road you may meet someone who is everything you ever wanted in a mate. What if they really value integrity and honesty and aren’t interested in you when they find out you haven’t been loyal in past relationships?

Brandi Hamrick
The “Queen B” Coach

www.brandihamrick.com

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