Stuck in a dating rut? Tired of attracting the wrong kind of people? Change your approach to finding the right person.
If a business isn’t attracting enough customers, they don’t just complain without taking action. A successful business will change their marketing strategies and do what it takes to get clients. They explore new options and find ways to attract new people. If a business doesn’t do this, their doors most likely won’t be open for long.
Very much like a business, you have to market yourself to have a successful dating life. Otherwise you will either not date at all or settle for someone you aren’t compatible with. If you are in a dating rut you need to shake things up a bit. Create new strategies and think outside the box. The steps below will help you create a successful dating strategy.
1. Define your market.
Just like a successful business, you need to know who you are trying to attract. Businesses know the age range, gender, and characteristics of their customers. Write down the qualities and characteristics you want in a mate.
2. Get inside the heads of your market.
Where would the type of person you want go? What would they possibly do for recreation or hobby? What might they do for a living? Who are their friends? Where might they hang out after work or on the weekends? Think outside the box and try to figure out as much as you can about the type of person you want to attract.
3.Put your plan into action.
One of the most common questions I receive through ASK BRANDI is “I can’t seem to find a guy who wants a relationship at a bar, what should I do?” I reply that for starters quit going to bars. If you aren’t having luck finding the type of person you want you must change the places you go.
A successful business knows their market and they know where their customers are and what they do. For instance, you probably wouldn’t see a Jimmy Choo ad in a magazine about the outdoors. You may however see ads for brands such as North Face and Kavu in an outdoor magazine. Keep this business strategy in mind when you are dating. If you are searching for a guy that goes to church you may not want to frequent strip clubs and bars. It’s not that decent church going men never go to strip clubs and bars; it’s just that they go in fewer numbers and less often so the chance of you finding one at a bar isn’t as great.
Start trying to go to the places you listed in the step above and quit going to places that your Mr. or Ms. Right doesn’t go to. For instance, if you are attracted to people in the healthcare industry start having lunch and grabbing coffee around local hospitals and medical complexes. Think outside the box to figure out where your ideal mate might be and go there.
4. Ask: Is your target market buying what you are selling?
A business that only wants to sell to affluent clients has to make sure their products, services, and design of their business reflect that. Ask yourself what type and quality of person your dream mate would want. Would they want someone who is healthy, has a career, or is educated? What type of person would your dream mate be attracted to? We typically are attracted to people who are a reflection of ourselves and balance us out, which brings us to the last step:
5. Ask: Are you the type of person that you want to be?
Have you ever been into a store where you could tell the owners loved and had passion for what they did? It probably made you excited and you were more likely to go back. When someone has passion and energy for what they are others are automatically attracted to them. Just like a successful business, you want to be happy with what and who you are.
When a person wants someone that is “out of their league” it is usually because they themselves want to be at that level. Have you ever known someone who is a fast food junkie, possibly smokes, and maybe is a good bit overweight but they seem to only want to date the star athlete? The most likely reason for this is that they too want to be fit and healthy on the inside. Become the person you want to be and it will be much easier to attract someone you are compatible with.
If you are in a dating rut try new approaches to meeting people. Consider going to a matchmaker, dating coach, or trying an online dating service. There is no shame in trying new things and failing, there is only shame in knowing that what you are doing isn’t working for you and continuing it anyway.
Best of luck in life and love!
Brandi Hamrick,
The “Queen B” Coach
www.brandihamrick.com
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